"U.S.GovernmentPhilosophy:IfItAin\tBroke,FixIt\TilItIs", Beautyisintheeyeofthebeerholder..., Hornbroken.Watchforfinger, NoMatterWhereYouGo,ThereYouAre., Hewholaughslastthinksslowest., Everstoptothinkandforgettostartagain?, EatWell,StayFit,DieAnyway., "Yourkidmaybeanhonorsstudent,butyourestillanidiot.", MyChildCanBeatUpYourHonorStudent., "Coverme.Imchanginglanes.", StampOutCrime-AbolishtheIRS, "ImnotasthinkasyoudrunkIam.", Lottery:Ataxonpeoplewhoarebadatmath., DaretokeeptheCIAoffDrugs., ForgettheWhales,SavetheCowboy., OldSkiersNeverDie.TheyJustgoDownhill., "MoneyIsntEverything,ButitSureKeepstheKidsInTouch.", HappinessistheBallintheFairway., IbrakeforHallucinations., "Benicetoyourkids.Theyllchooseyournursinghome.", "Idontsufferfrominsanity,Ienjoyeveryminuteofit.", Makeitidiot-proofandsomeonewillmakeabetteridiot, "Alwaysrememberyoureunique,justlikeeveryoneelse.", Illiterate?CallThisNumberforHelp..., WelcometoColorado-NowGoHome, Smile-ItsTheSecondBestThingyoucandowithYourLips., "TellinganOldPersonHe\sUselessisAbortionontheOtherEnd", AskFirstIfTheAnimalWantsToBeKilled, "YourMothersChoicewasPro-Life.Waah...", ThisVehicleSwervesandHitsPedestriansatRandom, Gunsmaykill,butImaim., Lifeisjustlikeabar., Lastcallcomestosoon., Tailgaterswillbeshot., "Ifyoudontlikemydrivingthenhonk,andwaitforgunshots.", "Dontaskwhatyourcustomerscandoforyou,askhowmuchyoucantakethemfor.", DrunkNRAMemberOnBoard., Ifyoucanreadthis..*SCREECH*thenexpectacallfrommylawyer., "Thosewhoremembertheirweekenddontpartyenough.", Ialwaysbeginanewweekthesame.Thedetoxguysevenknowmebyname!, Ialwaysbeginanewweekthesame.Bysayinghellotothedetoxguards., "Guncontrolishittinwhatyoushootat!", WELCOMETONEWHAMPSHIRE,NOWLEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!, "ItsNothingDuct-TapeWontFix!", Mydogateyourhonorstudent!, "Dontsteal,thegovernmenthatescompetition!", WATCHOUT!Thereisablonddriving., "Imnotspeedingofficerimjustdrivingmycar.", I\mnotfollowingtoclose...itiscalled"Drafting", Nexttimewaveallyourfingersatme!, Livelongenoughtobecomeaproblemtoyourkids., IwouldratherpushaChevythandriveaFord., Wifeanddogmissing!!Rewardfordog., Ifgodpaidforoursins,letsgetourmoniesworth!, "Heavensscaredofme,andhellthinksIlltakeover.", "IfyoucanreadthisyoureTOOclose.", "Rosesarered,violetsareblue,Imschizophrenic,andsoamI.", Loveisgrand...divorceistwentygrand, "Iminnoshapetoexercise!", Ifitsnotonethingitsyourmother!, "Loveyourneighbor,butdontgetcaught!", Iamavirgin(thisisanoldsticker), "Ifyoudosomethingyoullregretinthemorning...SLEEPTILLNOON!", "Dontdrinkanddriveyoumayhitabumpandspillyourdrink.", EatCanadianlamb...40,000coyotescantbewrong!, Individualistsoftheworld-UNITE!, "Dontbehumble--yournotthatgreat.", Igaveupdrinkingsmokingandsex!thatwastheworst15minutesofmylife., Illiterate?writeforfreehelp., Mylawyercanbeatupyourlawyer., "Mymothertoldmetobegood...butshesbeenwrongbefore.", Yes,asamateroffactiDOownthewholedamnroad, Nobodyisuglyafter2a.m., Ispentmostofmymoneyonbooze,boatsandbroads...therestIwasted., Youmustpayforyoursins!(ifyouhavealreadypaidpleasediscardthisnotice)., Apennyforyourthoughts,twentybuckstoactthemout!