OnlyInAmerica...canpizzagettoyourhousefasterthananambulance., OnlyInAmerica...aretherehandicapparkingplacesinfrontofaskatingrink., OnlyInAmerica...dodrugstoresmakethesickwalkallthewaytothebackofthestoretogettheirprescriptionswhilehealthypeoplecanbuycigarettesatthefront., OnlyInAmerica...dopeopleorderdoublecheeseburgers,largefriesandadietcoke., OnlyInAmerica...dobanksleavebothdoorsopenandthenchainthepenstothecounters., OnlyInAmerica...doweleavecarsworthtensofthousandsofdollarsinthedrivewayandputouruselessjunkinthegarage., "OnlyInAmerica...doweuseansweringmachinestoscreencallsandthenhaveCallWaitingsowewontmissacallfromsomeonewedidntwanttotalktointhefirstplace.", OnlyInAmerica...dowebuyhotdogsinpackagesoftenandbunsinpackagesofeight., OnlyInAmerica...doweusetheword"politics"todescribetheprocesssowell:"Poli"inLatinmeaning"many"and"tic"meaning"bloodsucking"creatures., OnlyInAmerica...dotheyhavedriveupATMmachineswithBraillelettering., OnlyInAmerica...canahomelesscombatveteranliveinacardboardboxandadraftdodgerliveinaWhiteHouse.