Aguyisnotgettingalongwithhiswife.Hethinksmaybehe\dliketohaveapetandgoestoapetshop.Afterlookingaroundhespotsaparrotsittingonalittleperch.Itdoesn\thaveanyfeetorlegs.Theguysaysoutloud,"Geez,Iwonderwhathappenedtothisparrot.""Iwasbornthisway,"saystheparrot."I\madefectiveparrot.""Ha,ha,"theguylaughs."ItsoundedlikethisparrotactuallyunderstoodwhatIsaidandansweredme.""Iunderstoodeveryword,"saystheparrot."Iamahighlyintelligent,thoroughlyeducatedbird.""Yeah?"theguyasks."Thenanswerthis:howdoyouhangontoyourperchwithoutanyfeet?""Well,"theparrotsays,"thisisalittleembarrassing,butsinceyouaskedI\lltellyou.Iwrapmylittleparrotpenisaroundthiswoodenbar,kindoflikealittlehook.Youcan\tseeitbecauseofmyfeathers.""Wow,"saystheguy,"youreallycanunderstandandanswer,can\tyou?""Ofcourse.IspeakbothSpanishandEnglish.Icanconversewithreasonablecompetenceonalmostanysubject:politics,religion,sports,physics,philosophy...andIamespeciallygoodatornithology.Yououghttobuyme.Iamagreatcompanion."Theguylooksatthepricetag."$200!"hesays."Ican\taffordthat.""Pssst,"theparrothisses,motioningtheguyoverwithonewing."NobodywantsmecauseIdon\thaveanyfeet.Youcangetmefor$20--justmakeanoffer."Guyoffers$20andwalksoutwiththeparrot.Weeksgoby.Theparrotissensational.He\sfunny,he\sinteresting,he\sagreatpal,heunderstandseverything,sympathizes,givesgoodadvice.Guyisdelighted.Onedayguycomeshomefromworkandtheparrotsays,"pssst,"andmotionshimoverwithonewing.Guygoesupclosetothecage."Idon\tknowifIshouldtellyouthisornot,"saystheparrot,"butit\saboutyourwifeandthemailman...""What?"saystheguy."What?""Well,"theparrotsays,"whenthemailmancametothedoortodayyourwifegreetedhiminasheernightgownandkissedhimonthemouth.""Whathappenedthen?"askstheguy."Thenthemailmancameintothehouseandliftedupthenightgownandbeganpettingherallover,"reportstheparrot."OhNo!"theguysays,"Thenwhat?""Thenheliftedupthenightgown,gotdownonhiskneesandbegantolickherbody,startingwithherbreastsandslowlygoingdownanddown..."Theparrotpausesforalongtime."Thenwhat....whathappenedNext...WHATHAPPENED?"saysthefranticguy."Idon\tknow,"saystheParrot,"Ifelloffmyperch."