IDIOTSINSERVICE:Thisweek,allourofficephoneswentdeadandIhadtocontactthetelephonerepairpeople.Theypromisedtobeoutbetween8:00a.m.and7:00p.m.WhenIaskediftheycouldgivemeasmallertimewindow,thepleasantgentlemanasked,"Wouldyoulikeustocallyoubeforewecome?"IrepliedthatIdidn\tseehowhewouldbeabletodothat,sinceourphonesweren\tworking.Healsorequestedthatwereportfutureoutagesbyemail(DoesYOURemailworkwithoutatelephoneline?)., IDIOTSATWORK:IwassigningthereceiptformycreditcardpurchasewhentheclerkNoticedIhadneversignedmynameonthebackofthecreditcard.Sheinformedmethatshecouldnotcompletethetransactionunlessthecardwassigned.WhenIaskedwhy,sheexplainedthatitwasnecessarytocomparethesignatureIhadjustsignedonthereceipt.SoIsignedthecreditcardinfrontofher.ShecarefullycomparedthesignaturetotheoneIhadjustsignedonthereceipt.Asluckwouldhaveit,theymatched., "IDIOTSINTHENEIGHBORHOOD:Iliveinasemi-ruralarea.WerecentlyhadanewneighborcallthelocaltownshipadministrativeofficetorequesttheremovaloftheDeerCrossingsignonourroad.Thereason:toomanydeerwerebeinghitbyCarsandhedidntwantthemtocrossthereanymore.", IDIOTSIGHTING#1:Iwasattheairport,checkinginatthegatewhenanairportemployeeasked,"Hasanyoneputanythinginyourbaggagewithoutyourknowledge?"TowhichIreplied,"Ifitwaswithoutmyknowledge,howwouldIknow?"Hesmiledknowinglyandnodded,"That\swhyweask.", IDIOTSIGHTING#2:Atagood-byeluncheonforanoldanddearcoworkerwhoisleavingthecompanydueto\downsizing,"ourmanagercommentedcheerfully,"thisisfun!.Weshoulddothismoreoften."Notawordwasspoken.Wealljustlookedateachotherwiththatdeer-in-the-headlightsstare., "IDIOTSIGHTING#3:Iworkwithanindividualwhopluggedherpowerstripbackintoitselfandforthelifeofhercouldntunderstandwhyhersystemwouldnotturnon.", IDIOTSIGHTING#4:WhenmyhusbandandIarrivedatanautomobiledealershiptopickupourcar,weweretoldthekeyshadbeenlockedinit.Wewenttotheservicedepartmentandfoundamechanicworkingfeverishlytounlockthedriver\ssidedoor.AsIwatchedfromthepassengerside,Iinstinctivelytriedthedoorhandleanddiscoveredthatitwasunlocked."Hey,"Iannouncedtothetechnician,"it\sopen!"Towhichhereplied,"Iknow-Ialreadygotthatside.", "DONTYOUFEELBETTERNOW??!!!"