Q:Howcanyoutellwhenalawyerislying?A:Hislipsaremoving., "Q:Whatsthedifferencebetweenadeaddogintheroadandadeadlawyerintheroad?A:Thereareskidmarksinfrontofthedog.", "Q:Whywontsharksattacklawyers?A:Professionalcourtesy.", Q:Whatdoyouhavewhenalawyerisburieduptohisneckinsand?A:Notenoughsand., Q:Howdoyougetalawyeroutofatree?A:Cuttherope., Q:Doyouknowhowtosaveadrowninglawyer?A1:Takeyourfootoffhishead.A2:No.Good!, "Q:Whatsthedifferencebetweenalawyerandabucketofdung?A:Thebucket.", Q:Whatisthedefinitionofashame(asin"that\sashame")?A:Whenabusloadoflawyersgoesoffacliff., Q:Whatisthedefinitionofa"cryingshame"?A:Therewasanemptyseat., "Q:WhatdoyougetwhenyoucrosstheGodfatherwithalawyer?A:Anofferyoucantunderstand", Q.Whyisitthatmanylawyershavebrokennoses?A.Fromchasingparkedambulances., Q.Wherecanyoufindagoodlawyer?A.Inthecemetery, "Q.Whatsthedifferencebetweenalawyerandavampire?A.Avampireonlysucksbloodatnight.", Q.Howmanylawprofessorsdoesittaketochangealightbulb?A.Heck,youneed250justtolobbyfortheresearchgrant., "Q:Ifyouseealawyeronabicycle,whydontyouswervetohithim?A:Itmightbeyourbicycle.", Q:Wherecanyoufindagoodlawyer?A:Inthecitymorgue., Ahousewife,anaccountantandalawyerwereasked"Howmuchis2+2?"Thehousewifereplies:"Four!".Theaccountantsays:"Ithinkit\seither3or4.Letmerunthosefiguresthroughmyspreadsheetonemoretime."Thelawyerpullsthedrapes,dimsthelightsandasksinahushedvoice,"Howmuchdoyouwantittobe?", Agradeschoolteacherwasaskingstudentswhattheirparentsdidforaliving."Tim,youbefirst,"shesaid."Whatdoesyourmotherdoallday?"Timstoodupandproudlysaid,"She\sadoctor.""That\swonderful.Howaboutyou,Amie?"Amieshylystoodup,scoffedherfeetandsaid,"Myfatherisamailman.""Thankyou,Amie,"saidtheteacher."Whataboutyourfather,Billy?"Billyproudlystoodupandannounced,"Mydaddyplayspianoinawhorehouse."Theteacherwasaghastandpromptlychangedthesubjecttogeography.LaterthatdayshewenttoBilly\shouseandrangthebell.Billy\sfatheransweredthedoor.Theteacherexplainedwhathissonhadsaidanddemandedanexplanation.Billy\sfathersaid,"I\mactuallyanattorney.HowcanIexplainathinglikethattoaseven-year-old?"