shewentintoanhuntedhouseandcameoutwithanapplication, whenshejoinedanuglycontest,theysaid"Sorry,noprofessionals.", shelooksoutthewindowandgotarrestedformooning., evenFreddyKruegerhasnightmaresofher., theypushherfaceintodoughtomakegorillacookies., theyfilmed"GorillasintheMist"inhershower, "theydidntgiveheracostumewhenshetriedoutforStarWars.", insteadofputtingthebungeecordaroundherankle,theyputitaroundherneck, whenacopaskedforherdriverslicensehearrestedherforcarryingaconcealedweapon., shegets364extradaystodressupforHalloween., thatshescaredtheshitoutofthetoilet., shewenttogethernosepierced&gotstabbedintheass!, whenshewalksintoabank,theyturnoffthesurveillancecameras, hermomhadtotieasteakaroundhernecktogetthedogstoplaywithher., thegovernmentmovedHalloweentoherbirthday., "thatifuglywerebricksshedhaveherownprojects.", shemadeanonioncry., whentheytookhertothebeauticianittook12hours...foraquote!, shetriedtotakeabaththewaterjumpedout!, shelooksoutthewindowandgetsarrested!, "evenRiceKrispieswonttalktoher!", "TedDansenwouldntdateher!", forHalloweenshetrickortreatsonthephone!, sheturnedMedusatostone!, TheNHLbannedherforlife, peoplegoasherforHalloween., thatwhenshesitsinthesandonthebeach,catstrytoburyher., shescarestheroachesaway., Iheardthatyourdadfirstmetheratthepound., "thatyourfathertakeshertoworkwithhimsothathedoesnthavetokisshergoodbye."