1.Makeracecarnoiseswhenanyonegetsonoroff., 2.Blowyournoseandoffertoshowthecontentsofyourkleenextootherpassengers., "3.Grimacepainfullywhilesmackingyourforeheadandmuttering,Shutup,dammit,allofyoujustshutUP!", "4.WhistlethefirstsevennotesofItsaSmallWorldincessantly.", 5.SellGirlScoutcookies., 6.Onalongride,swaysidetosideatthenaturalfrequencyoftheelevator., 7.Shave., "8.Crackopenyourbriefcaseorpurse,andwhilepeeringinsideask:Gotenoughairinthere?", 9.Offernametagstoeveryonegettingontheelevator.Wearyoursupside-down., 10.Standsilentandmotionlessinthecorner,facingthewall,withoutgettingoff., 11.Whenarrivingatyourfloor,gruntandstraintoyankthedoorsopen,thenactembarrassedwhentheyopenbythemselves., "12.Leanovertoanotherpassengerandwhisper:Noogiepatrolcoming!", 13.GreeteveryonegettingontheelevatorwithawarmhandshakeandaskthemtocallyouAdmiral., 14.Oneword:Flatulants!, "15.Onthehighestfloor,holdthedooropenanddemandthatitstayopenuntilyouhearthepennyyoudroppeddowntheshaftgoplinkatthebottom.", 16.DoTaiChiexercises., "17.Stare,grinning,atanotherpassengerforawhile,andthenannounce:Ivegotnewsockson!", "18.Whenatleast8peoplehaveboarded,moanfromtheback,Oh,notnow,damnmotionsickness!", 19.Givereligioustractstoeachpassenger., 20.Meowoccasionally., 21.Bettheotherpassengersyoucanfitaquarterinyournose., "22.Frownandmuttergottago,gottagothensighandsayoops!", 23.Showotherpassengersawoundandaskifitlooksinfected., "24.SingMaryhadalittlelambwhilecontinuallypushingbuttons.", "25.HollerChutesaway!whenevertheelevatordescends.", "26.Walkonwithacoolerthatsayshumanheadontheside.", "27.Stareatanotherpassengerforawhile,thenannounce,YoureoneofTHEM!andmovetothefarcorneroftheelevator.", "28.Burp,andthensaymmmm...tasty!", 29.Leaveaboxbetweenthedoors., 30.Askeachpassengergettingonifyoucanpushthebuttonforthem., "31.Wearapuppetonyourhandandtalktootherpassengersthroughit.", 32.Startasing-along., "33.Whentheelevatorissilent,lookaroundandaskisthatyourbeeper?", 34.Playtheharmonica., 35.Shadowbox., "36.SayDing!ateachfloor.", 37.Leanagainstthebuttonpanel., "38.SayIwonderwhatallthesedoandpushtheredbuttons.", 39.Listentotheelevatorwallswithastethoscope., "40.Drawalittlesquareonthefloorwithchalkandannouncetotheotherpassengersthatthisisyourpersonalspace.", 41.Bringachairalong., "42.Takeabiteofasandwichandaskanotherpassenger:Wannaseewhainmuhmouf?", 43.Blowspitbubbles., 44.Pullyourgumoutofyourmouthinlongstrings., "45.Announceinademonicvoice:Imustfindamoresuitablehostbody.", 46.Carryablanketandclutchitprotectively., 47.Makeexplosionnoiseswhenanyonepressesabutton., "48.WearX-RaySpecsandleersuggestivelyatotherpassengers.", "49.StareatyourthumbandsayIthinkitsgettinglarger.", "50.Ifanyonebrushesagainstyou,recoilandhollerBadtouch!"