Q:HowmanyDemocratsdoesittaketochangealightbulb?A:None."Wellit\snotreallyaquestionofshouldwechangeitorshouldwenotchangethelightbulb,butmoreaquestionof...(blahblahwaffle)"A:Two-onetodoitandtheothertokeepthefirstone\skneefromjerking., "Q:HowmanyDemocraticpresidentialcandidatesfrom1988didittaketoscrewinalightbulb?A:(MikeDukakis)InMassachusetts,myenlightenedgovernmenthasmadeitunnecessaryforpeopletoscrewintheirownlightbulbs,aswehaveputthousandsofformerwelfarerecipientstoworkfortheDept.ofLightBulbInstallation.Theseemployeeswillcometoyourhomeorbusinessandinstallanyincandescentbulb,ononlyafewmonthsnotice.A:(BruceBabbitt)Itsfoolishtotalkaboutscrewinginlightbulbswhenwehaventeventakenthefirststep,andthatistoremovetheoldbulb.Ichallengemyfellowcandidatestostandupwithmeandhelpmeremovethisoldlightbulbstands,butnobodyelsedoesHah!Whatwimps.YouguysmakeBushlooklikeRambo.A:(RichardGephart)Itdoesntmatterwhetherthebulbischangedornot;itonlymattersthatthenewbulbwasmadeintheUSofA.TaiwanandSouthKoreahaveputupmassivebarrierstoimportingUSlightbulbs;wellseehowtheylikeitwhentheirbulbscost$10,000toscrewinhere.A:(GaryHart)Thisobliquereferencetoscrewingisanobviousattempttodragmypersonallifeintothiscampaign.Frankly,Iresentit,andtheAmericanpeopleresentit.A:(AlGore)Asusual,theotherleft-wingwackocandidatesareputtingforthsolutionsthatmoderateSouthernerswontcottontoonSuperTuesday.AtleastIhopenot.A:(PaulSimon)MymediaexpertstellmeImfoolishforwearingmyhairthesamewayIdidinthe50s.ButthatswhatPaulSimonsallabout.AndIsupposemymediaexpertsaregonnasayImfoolishforthis,butinallcandor,IchangemylightbulbsthesamewayIdidinthe50s:mywifegetsonaladderandIturnit.A:(JesseJackson)Changingthelightbulbisapartialsolutionatbest.ImmoreofaLoneRangerthanalightbulbchanger.ButeventheLoneRangerhadTontoandSilver,andtheshamefulfactisthattheAmericanIndiansoftodaydonthaveenoughsilver,orgold,orevenpapermoneytoallowthemtobuyintotheAmericanDreamorsomeextralightbulbs.WemustensurethatallAmericanscanlighttheirhomes,fromthelighthousetotheWhiteHouse."