Youlooseargumentswithinanimateobjects., Youhavetoholdontothelawntokeepfromfallingofftheearth., Jobinterferingwithyourdrinking., Yourdoctorfindstracesofbloodinyouralcoholstream., "CareerwontprogressbeyondSenatorfromMassachusetts.", Thebackofyourheadkeepsgettinghitbythetoiletseat., Sincerelybelievealcoholistheelusive5thfoodgroup., 24hoursinaday,24beersinacase-coincidence?-Ithinknot!, "Twohandsandjustonemouth...-nowTHATSadrinkingproblem!", Youcanfocusbetterwithoneeyeclosed., Theparkinglotseemstohavemovedwhileyouwereinthebar., Youfalloffthefloor..., YourtwinsonsarenamedBarleyandHops., Hey,5beershasjustasmanycaloriesasaburger,screwdinner!, Mosquitoescatchabuzzafterattackingyou., AtAAmeetingsyoubegin:"Himynameis...uh...", Yourideaofcuttingbackislesssalt., Youwakeupinthebedroom,yourunderwearisinthebathroom,youfellasleepclothed., "ThewholebarsaysHiwhenyoucomein...", YouthinktheFourBasicFoodGroupsareCaffeine,Nicotine,Alcohol,andWomenorMen., "Everynightyourebeginningtofindyourroommatescatmoreandmoreattractive.", Roseannelooksgood., "Dontrecognizewifeunlessseenthroughbottomofglass.", Thatdamnedpinkelephantfollowedmehomeagain., SenatorsKennedyandPackwoodshaketheirheadswhentheywalkpastyou., "Imassoberasajudge.", "Theshrubberysdrunkfromtoofrequentwatering."